- Rain -
I cried long and hard,
The rain, so unfeeling as it landed against my skin.
Why?
Why?
Why must it all be so hard?
Where was my tower of strength?
Falling down,
New York.
Oh, the wind blew so cold,
I wished I could not feel the wind.
(But it was the pain I felt that reminded me I was still alive.)
And all the angels lined before me
And then I was tired,
shed silent tears,
soul screaming to the heavens
begging for resolution.
The wind, once father to my songs,
now blew relentlessly chilling as I stood
in my small, black tank top
and olive cargo pants.
Where was the woman I thought I had become?
I doubted if there was such a woman inside me anywhere.
I must have seemed to God
so broken...
so bent...
so small and frail as I was begging for mercy on my knees.
What began as a dream was now
fantasy beyond the brink of nightmare.
I saw one way out,
but knew not if I should dare tred where the leaves laid unwalked.
I was an empty shell of me,
losing the face I never thought I would lose,
feeling the nothing I never thought I would feel.
raping my drenched skin
(as unfeeling as the boy I thought loved me).
I wished I could not feel the pain.
I wished I could wish myself away.
and touched fingertips to my eyes.
Every deva, every sprite, every fairy
crowded 'round to see
who it was screaming so silently loud that was me.
weary and shattered.
I walked back inside.
"I'll think about it tomorrow,"
I said as I laid my head down to sweet slumber
as the angels stood around me
boggling over me like a broken clockwork.
How do you fix something so bent?
How do you put back together something so broken?
"Let's think about it tomorrow,"
they must have said,
as they lay beside me
in sweet slumber.
